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  • Writer's pictureJohn Whitehead

My Way

Throughout the years, I have become more and more aware of my tendency to focus on me. It begins each day as I think about what I am going to do, who I am going to see, where I am going to go and how I will interact with those I meet.


Fortunately for me, I am not the only one who has this me focused mindset.


You see, having things “my way” is a perspective we all struggle with. The reason I say we struggle is because if we do not get our way, disappointment, dissatisfaction and even anger can be the result.


This is because “my way” is the best way. Isn’t it? Or is it your way that matters the most?


The irony of the question is focusing on getting your way is not only a desire we share, but a goal each of us strive to attain. For most of us, this occurs all day, every day.


I have had conversations with people who do not share my perspective on the me first mindset I believe we all share. Yet, even in one’s unwillingness to acknowledge this truth we can see an inward focus which reveals a ‘my way” heart, mind, and perspective.


I have found even when I admit I suffer from this self-focused mindset, others will argue they do not. This causes me to wonder why? I believe the answer is simply, this makes some people feel bad about themselves, which proves my point entirely.


How do we wrestle against a “my way” mindset and a me first attitude? We start by admitting it exists, then we look for instances where it is occurring and push against them.


I believe this condition is terminal and the only way to fight against it is to let others know I care as much about them as I do about having “my way”.  


As with any effort to improve, this takes practice, patience, repetition, and effort.


The interesting part is realizing how different my world becomes when I start to consider others at least as often as I consider myself. You see, taking the time to value the people in my life allows me to see the value their life brings to mine.


In closing there is a true irony when we realize even our focus on someone else can be about me getting, doing and having things “my way”!


Mark 12:31, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’  The second is this, “love your neighbor as yourself.” No other command is greater than these.”



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