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  • John Whitehead

Til You Can't

Along with the passage of time comes the loss of those we love and care for. The more time goes by, the more loss we experience.


Losing those I loved and cared for has made me reflect on the times I put off doing things with them because I felt I didn’t have time. In fact, my thought process was I can’t do it now, but I will have time to do it later.


Of course, after these people are gone, there is no later. I missed the opportunity I had to do things with them because I was too busy or too focused on the things that mattered to me. Things that were apparently more important at the time than they were.


If you have read my blog, you know how we spend the time we have been given has been a recurring theme for me lately. It is as if I see the brevity of life clearly for the first time.


Suddenly my relationships are more important than they seemed in the past.


Because of this, when I think of those, I share life with. I realize how important it is for me to reach out to them while I can talk with them, laugh with them, love them, and enjoy our time together.

As I do, I am committed to letting those I care for know they are on my heart and mind. I realize now more than ever; I need to do this “til I can’t”.


This can be uncomfortable, as more times than not, this requires me to be the one who reaches out. Recently, I even tried an experiment where I didn’t reach out to anyone during the holiday season.


I did this to see if anyone would reach out to me. Now, I know this was the wrong motivation. What matters is I reach out when the Lord places someone on my mind. And I need to do so with no concern at all whether the respond in kind.


One thing my experiment did show me was, I was not on other people’s minds. What I came to realize, that is not what matters at all. What matters is, I let people know when they are on my mind.


Why now is the question I have been considering. Why am I suddenly concerned with spending time with those I share life with? I believe the answer is I understand now more than ever, I need to do so while I can, because a time will come soon when I can’t.


All of this has been an epiphany of sorts for me as I wrestle with the tension between caring enough to tell someone and needing to know someone cares about me.


Here is where the I see the value of caring, is where we should derive our value. It shouldn’t matter if someone reaches out to me at all. What matters is in me taking the time to reach out to them.


I am, thankful to the Lord for this reminder, and I am committed letting others know I care, til I can’t.


Proverbs 27:1, “Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring.”




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