Behind the Wall

As a child, our family moved constantly. Because of this, I developed the ability to fit in despite always being the new kid. Through sports and other means, I was able to find common ground. It seemed to those who knew me I was very confident and secure.  

What they did not know, and I would not allow them to see, was that I was hiding my fears and doubts from them “behind the wall” I had created.

Over the years, I have discovered that I am not alone.

We all build walls to hide behind or to protect ourselves. The problem with these walls is that though they can protect us, they can also isolate us and become a barrier that keeps others out.

Ironically, the times of loneliness we may experience are made worse by the walls we have built.

What can we do when we cannot let anyone see “behind the wall”? I suppose we can choose to be alone and lonely, or perhaps we can look for another way,

I believe we can still have our wall where we can feel safe and protected and not be lonely and alone by adding a metaphorical gate. It does not have to be a wide gate that might allow others to breach our wall. Instead, it can be a small, narrow gate where we control who enters and goes out.

I am sure this is a scary thought for someone where trusting others has proven unwise. Yet, I think it may be worth the risk,

Even though we may feel safe “behind the wall” in our hearts, we all know being alone is not good for anyone. Unfortunately, knowing this and changing it are two entirely different things.

Perhaps our first step can be admitting we have a wall. Then, we can start working on that gate. Until then, I pray that if you have built a wall to hide behind, you will realize others are hiding “behind the wall” they have created, too.

I will end with this: What if we all took a risk, stepped out from “behind the wall,” and saw the brightness and beauty of the relationships hidden from our view?

Who knows, we may find we did not need that wall after all!

Psalm 122:6-7, “May those who love you be secure. May there be peace within your walls and security within your citadels.”